Okay first log in my journal.... the office is brightened at the moment by a 16 or 17 year old work experience girl. Wombat has almost exclusive responsibility to...give her experience I suppose. Anyway home time yesterday and I am called upon to adjudicate whether she is indeed skinny or if she has an athletic build. Into my office she comes, unbuttons her jacket and proceeds to get me to feel her biceps, calves and four pack. I don't think I'm going to go to Heaven... more likely prison. A...

Some catching up to do I'm afraid. Bubba has started dating the Gap Bird. Dingo used to have a thing about her, but she wouldn't play. Anyway Bubba popped in to my office a few weeks back and told me about his weekend. He'd been to the Erotic Expo at the Centre. Out of his pocket came a photo of him with two lapdancers from Pole Position magazine, they were all over him and the photo might apparently be used in the magazine. He'd also acquired a nurses outfit at the Expo for the Gap Bi...

Bumped into Bubba the other day. Asked how his weekend was. Straight away said it was his girlfriend's time of the month so only a BJ... Calv came into my office, asked if I'd heard about Bubba's weekend. Calv is very blunt, calls a spade a spade and proceeded to speculate that I didn't let things like menstrual cycles get in the way of my desires. I'm a chartered accountant for chrissakes! I replied that as my wife had reached the menopause it wasn't an issue. Now you must rememb...

There is a strange habit of ex-employees phoning in and asking for accountancy advice. There's the hopeless Doogie, who only ever got part qualified (but did get to sleep with some old Radio 1 DJ...but that's a different story). You expect him to ask questions. You don't expect Sniff though. He's fully qualified, was accountant for a big local pizza chain and is full of it. It's actually quite gratifying when the Big I Am asks a pretty basic question... ...even more gratifying when I have th...